Assignment #26- Where Children Eat and Sleep

Hey ya'll, this is my post on where children eat and sleep in my made up country! 

My country--which has yet to be named--is located in the pacific ocean (in between Japan and North America). It is a developed country that was created by an earthquake and volcano that caused a landmass. My country is best known for it's fashion, it's liberal and environmental attitude, it's wide range of tea and amazing beaches. Most of the people living in my country hail from Canada, the United States (particularly Hawaii), Japan, Indonesia (particularly Bali) and parts of Australia. 

In this general area

The Kaio family from my country is a family of two parents and three kids. They spend about $250 a week on food. 

The mother of the family, Fiona moved to my country from Canada to go to University. She is a surgeon and her hobbies include flower arranging, surfing and traveling on family vacations. Her favourite foods are sushi and cheesecake. 

The father of the family, Saku is originally from Japan. He works as a chef and enjoys playing tennis and studying astronomy in his free time. His favourite meals include Kare Raisu (japanese curry rice), Miso soup and Grapefruit dessert. 

Kare Raisu

Their oldest child is 16 and his name is Aaron because it is both a common Japanese and American name. when Aaron grows up he wants to be an artist. His hobbies are photography, camping and sculpting. His favourite dishes include Balinese skewers, potatoes and bagels. 

Their daughter, Naomi is 14 and when she grows up she wants to be an writer. She is very interested in anime, cosplay, archery, origami and playing the harp. She often eats Godoh (fried Banana dish), pasta and pancakes. 

Godoh

Their younger son is Naomi's twin brother, Uke, who they decided to give a traditional Japanese name. He wants to be a fashion designer when her grows up, since my country is a very well known for its mixture of modern North America/European and Japanese street style fashions. Uke also enjoys the art of feng shui and does competitive Kendo (sword fighting type martial art). His favourite foods are stir fry, pineapple and ice cream. 

Kendo

Japanese street style (Harjuku)

European Inspired Clothing

The Kaio's live in a comfortable sized house near the beach where they enjoy surfing, swimming and playing beach volleyball. The house has four bedrooms and basic household necessities. 

Assignment #25- Hannah's Childhood Top 10

Hello there little readers! In this assignment we are asked to write a top 10 list from when we were wee little things and include 4 books, 2 games/toys and 4 items or memories of our choice. To start things off I will tell you of my childhood literature.

1. The Fat Cat by Jack Kent

I decided to use this book in my blog post because it was the book that taught me how to read. It was the first whole book that I could read all by myself! I'm not sure how much of it was just memory but I still consider it my first and at the time a huge accomplishment. Today this book would be pretty insignificant to me; a cat eating everyone and then having to be cut open so everybody can come back out doesn't sound like an amazing book but it's the first thing I though of when thinking of my childhood. For more information on this book, please click here. 

2. Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Suess

As a child this was probably my top 1 favourite book despite the fact that I don't like eggs or ham. As you should very well know, Dr. Suess should win a title for the most epic rhymes ever created. Seriously, he is a genius. His work still inspires me as a poet so I would say that this book is still special to me. For more about Green Eggs and Ham you can go here.

3. The Twits by Roald Dahl

This is the first novel that I read. I believe the book was read by me when I was six years old (passive, I know). I’ve actually read it quite a few times and other members of my family have read it too so we can chat about it. It’s still pretty special to me, I mean, it’s no Hunger Games but it’s a pretty good read. Here is a link with more information.

4. A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket

Although I may have finished these books when I was around eleven I think I started them prior to ten years old so I will include them. These were some of my favourite books at the time. They were to me what Harry Potter or Twilight is to some. It was like, my series. I’m getting depressed writing about all these books and not because I miss them. It’s actually very much the opposite. Even though I loved them I have no interest in reading them again. The subjects do not interest me anymore. I guess my interests just changed so much. Go here for more information on this series.

5. The Jungle Book

My sister and I had somewhat of a movie routine. Each night we would watch a movie before bed. One night we would watch my favourite movie, The Jungle Book and the next we would watch hers, Aristocats. Disney Fans… guilty as charged. I can probably still remember all the lines to both movies. I remember my sister and I would act out the characters while we watched the movies. The Jungle Book still holds a place deep in my heart. In fact, when it came out on DVD I made my mom buy it for me and it says on it, “Hannah’s official copy of the Jungle Book.”

6. Lions

This is perhaps the most important thing from my childhood. I still believe that there is no person more obsessed with lions as I was. I had lion everything, plastic toys, stuffed toys, wooden toys, towels, hats, walls, posters, carpets, clothing, email, you name it! They are still a favourite animal of mine, and I still have dreams of meeting one.

7. Music Festivals

I went to my first music festivals at 12 days old. My family are big festival junkies so I’ve seen them all. My favourite is probably the folk festival because they have a lot of alternative and indie music and great people watching. Bluesfest is also quite good but since they’ve gone mainstream the tickets are really expensive. My family and I go every year so yes, they are still special to me.

8. Teletubbies

I watched Teletubbies when I was very young so I really don’t remember it much. However, recently my sister and I decided to watch it on youtube (and still do) and it’s hilarious! They all seem like they are on drugs, are extremely repetitive and have the funniest lines/voices. I’m planning on dressing up as a Teletubby next Halloween actually. It’s still important to me because it was probably the first show I watched as a child and therefore had a big influence on my childhood.

9. Toy Cars

Doesn’t “toy cars” sound like an awesome name for a song or poem? Anyways, I was never much of a Barbie kind of girl. I just took off their clothes and cut their hair off. I much preferred hot wheels and other brands of toy cars. I had a floor mat with roads and stores like Canadian Tire (which had a helicopter landing spot on the roof) that I drove the car around on. Perhaps that sparked my interest in cars (specifically German made cars).

10. Improv (also known by the title, “made up games”.)

My favourite and I mean favourite thing to do as a kid was what my sister and I called “made up games.” Which I now realize was basically improvisational acting. We had a few series of “made up games” that we continued, almost like a television show with many episodes and seasons. Technically I still do this (but instead I write TV scripts) so it is very important to me.

Well that concludes my post. I hope you enjoyed my childhood top 10.

Now… I will make a current top 10! From the beginning of this post I thought a current one might be more fun, I’m not going to use the book and game/toy requirement or paragraphs. This is just for fun!

1.     Glee (winning by a long shot)

2.    Tumblr (my latest obsession)

3.    Writing (this includes all types but mainly poetry and scripts)

4.   A Very Potter Musical/Sequel (Combining my love of Darren Criss, Musicals and Harry Potter)

5.    Fashion (Something I seriously CANNOT live without)

6.   Quirky movies (By this I mean movies like Little Miss Sunshine, Juno and Edward Scissorhands)

7.    Singing (I guess you could call it my hidden talent)

8.   Activism (call me crazy but leadership and activism is a passion of mine and I love fighting for people rights and helping others)

9.   Reading (novels, fanfiction, articles, anything! Just not comics…)

10. Lists and planning (I plan everything, I’m not even sure if it’s a good habit or a bad one)

Why NDP? Assignment #24- Canadian Political Parties

R8A is not of legal voting age so Miss Pollock decided our class should do the next best thing--make a blog post about it! We have the option of doing a written/oral piece with three compelling points of why we would vote for either the Conservatives, Liberals, NDP, Green Party or Bloc Quebecois or make a campaign poster for one of these parties.

I have chosen to do a written piece on why I would vote for the New Democratic Party of Canada (NDP). 

I know most people complain about taxes enough already and nobody wants to pay even more for taxes! However, haven't you always been looking forward to getting that part time job even if it's only a minimum wage job? Along with increasing taxes, the NDP are looking to raise the minimum wage should they get in. Which means, more money for us part time job people! They are also wanting to have more public services such as building social housing for our cities homeless, creating better public transportation services and lowering tuition fees so that part time job money can go towards shopping and seeing movies with your friends and not just paying for more school. 

Another reason why I would vote NDP is because of they work they do within the LGBT community. The NDP supports Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender people as equals and will fund pride parades and events. The NDP also wishes to pass bill C-389; which looks to add gender identity and expression to the list of prohibited forms of discrimination in public places. They also recognize the difference between bisexuality vs homosexuality and transphobia vs homophobia which I think is very important. 

My final reason behind favoring the NDP is for the health care benefits. Tommy Douglas was one of the first NDP politicians and he brought Canada's free health care system into our country. The NDP is for better health care benefits and they want to eliminate private doctors and healthcare so that all citizens can have the same benefits without having to worry about cost or prejudices' from health care professionals. I think the whole country can benefit from good, affordable health care. 
That concludes why I would vote for the NDP.

hi

hello

Assignment # 23- Chinada (China and Canada)

Tomorrow, our class is getting two new students from China and we have an assignment to compare and contrast China and Canada.

The first section that caught my eye when we were in the middle of the room was the religion section because I'm really interested in learning about different religions at the moment. This section, unlike literacy rate and the total fertility rate is quite a contrast from Canada's. In China the religion section said Taoist, Buddhist, Christian 3%-4%, Muslim and it says note: officially atheist. In Canada it says Roman Catholic 42.6%, Protestant 23.3% (Includes United Church, Anglican, Baptist), other Christians 4.4%, Muslim 1.9%, other or unspecified 11.8%, none 16%. I've found a lot of the categories to be very similar but this one is actually quite different. China seems to be mostly atheist while Canada is mainly Christianity (Roman Catholic) and China only has a small percentage of Christians. I guess being in a very multicultural school and going to a unitarian church makes me blind to the fact that there are majority religions. I find it interesting how many people from one area have the same religious views because of where they were born. If they were born somewhere else, would their religion be different?

The next section I chose to write about is literacy rate because I find reading very important and I think life would be extremely boring and confusing without being able to read. Unlike religion, literacy rate in Canada and China is very similar. In both countries it says age 15 and over can read. However, in Canada the literacy rate is both 99% for male and female yet in China the male literacy rate is 95.7% yet the female literacy rate is only 87.6 %. I find this interesting because girls go to school longer than boys do in China. Perhaps less girls actually go to school than boys.

The third one I chose was people living with HIV/AIDS because many, many countries have very high HIV/AIDS deaths which is very sad. (I chose people living with over the actual deaths because it's easier to compare) It's horrible how love can be deadly and how there is such a big HIV/AIDS stigma. Canada and China don't seem to be countries that would be ranked too high in the top because they are both very developed countries with good or at least decent health care. China has 740 000 people living with HIV/AIDS while Canada has less than 1000. However, we must keep in mind that China has a much larger population than we do. China is still significantly higher though, ranked as number 14 country comparison in the world and Canada is ranked as number 80. As I've realized many times in our unit thus far, we are so lucky and blessed to live in such a wonderful country with many, many benefits.

Cheers,

Hannah

Faces of the World

Assignment number 22- Faces of the World

Part A- Globalization

Globalization is when a group of people from different parts of the world of all different races, cultures and beliefs unite to have a bigger population and economy in areas such as trade.

Part B- One would go about making these average faces by taking a bunch of different pictures of faces (usually from the same city or region) and overlap them on top of each other (if you've ever used photoshop it's pretty much the same layering technique) to make one blended face. One time (sorry personal story here) I went on this website where you upload a photo of yourself and it gives you a bunch of faces of celebrities that look like you and you can blend your face together with theirs. I got mostly asian models as my result. However, I also got Alfonso Ribeiro (Carlton from Fresh Prince) who I look nothing like so I'm not sure how accurate it really is. There's another really weird website that girls who are obsessed over actors and other celebrities go on where you can combine your face or an a celebrities face with another celebrities face and it makes a baby. The baby is always freakish looking.

Part C-

1. I decided to click on the city Lima (like in Glee!) and I found it interesting how the average male and female faces looked almost identical. I noticed the same thing in most of the other cities I clicked on.

2. One of the cities I clicked on was Amsterdam and I noticed all the random little rainbows in the corner of people photos (the middle one) that the other cities did not have. I read the stuff underneath the pictures and it said that Amsterdam had a reputation for tolerance being a hippie city in the 70's-80's and is accepting of people of all ethnic groups and sexual orientations (were the rainbows suppose to be gay pride flags?) I don't know, my curiosity got the best of me.

3. I went to the poster section of the website and I clicked on Sydney because it's a relatively multicultural city. It showed some of the faces that they used for the average. They had white, black, asian, south asian (brown) and whatever other races in between going into making one face. I suppose that is why most of the faces are generally the same colour.

For the fun of it I will answer two of Miss Pollock's bracket questions:

What does "the face of tomorrow" mean? I'm assuming that the face of tomorrow means that in the future everyone will have those blended, average faces because people of all different races are starting families with people of different races of themselves. I heard that eventually blondes and blue eyed people will become extinct because it is rare that two blondes will have a baby together and if someone with brown eyes and someone with blue eyes have a baby the child will likely have brown eyes rather than blue.

Why do the differences in our faces give us a sense of identity? No two faces are exactly the same so essentially everyone's face is unique. If someone has--for example--a slightly pointed nose, a large bottom lip or one eye slightly larger than the other then they will have a memorable feature that people think of when they think of that person. Our differences in faces, like in everything else, help to identify others.

Part D- Once it finally finished loading this is the picture I received for my result (below). The pictures I combined to receive this were a white female, a white male, a black female, a black male, an asian male and female (probably chinese) and a brown man and women (maybe from India). Those seem to be the four dominant races and the ones you see mostly so in the face of the future they may all be blended into one unique face.

Okay, I lied I didn't just combine those faces I also threw a redhead into the mix. Apparently being born with red hair isn't always genetic it can be randomized. That is why even though blondes will one day be extinct, redheads will most likely not... I think. However, the average human of the future will probably not be a red head because they are only 1% of the world's population.

Speaking of 1%, only one percent of the world's population is intersex but I decided to make my average face a combination of men and women to represent the entire population rather than only half by picking one gender. I think the face looks more like a female. That could have something to do with the fact that women are an XX chromosome and men are XY. If there was YY, men would probably look more masculine. If you look at a guy closely you can usually see a female face underneath but not really the other way around. It's probably just because I put 5 females and 4 males, I should have found another red headed man.

My face of tomorrow

History Fair Reflection (4321)

4- The 4 most interesting things you learned about your topic while researching.

1. I learned that even though most of the things women did for beauty in the Victorian era were disgusting, many things women do today are very similar and just as sad and gross such as, spray tanning, real tanning, plastic surgery, botox and eating disorders.

2. I found out about bloodletting which was a thing barbers used to do since they were also doctors. They would cut your actual head or neck and release blood for some sort of health reason. That is why barber shops have that bar with blue and red stripes which symbolize a vein and an artery and also bloody bandages.

3. I learned a very interesting fact about what women did for acne in the Victorian era. They put vaginal discharge on their pimples and apparently it would go away overnight. I didn't include this on my poster but I mentioned it to a few curious judges.

4. I learned that the first form of condoms were made of animal bladders and intestines...eww! In the Victorian Era condoms weren't used that much through because people only had monogamous sex and only did so when wanting to conceive. A friend of mine that I met at Dare 2 Stand Out told me that sex being a taboo subject started in the Victorian Era, I wonder if any of the stuff I researched could have anything to do with that.

3- Three things you felt proud of on the day of the fair.

1. I felt very proud of having everything accomplished on time. At the beginning when I was researching for the History Fair I was stressing big time because I didn't think I would finish on time and I didn't like my topic and I thought I could never come close to the quality of last year's project. When Miss Pollock told me that she thought my project this year was even better than last year's it helped to give me the confidence to get everything done and be proud of my work.

2. I feel very proud to have been chosen as a "judging minion" for the French History Fair. I was exhausted by the end of the day (2 period of gofer-ing as a minion, 2 periods of standing and then the beep test!) but I think helping out was really fun, it made me feel good and it was awesome to see the french fair.

3. I felt extremely proud when I was presenting to the judges because I was very confident and clear while I was speaking and I was able to answer all the questions that were asked by the judges and spectators with a large amount of knowledge behind them.

2- Two specific researching or presenting techniques that were helpful to make your project so wonderful.

1. I decided to incorporate some questions in my speech which I found to be very effective. Even if the listener didn't answer my questions it still made them intrigued and feel like they were a part of the project.

2. I think pointing to different parts of my project (such as the advertisements on the poster and the 3D aid) really helped to enhance my speech and make everything flow and fit together beautifully.

1- One suggesting to make the History Fair next year even better.

1. I think next year we should have time after where the participants can go and look at other people's projects. I was suppose to have three judges so I waited at my project throughout the whole English fair for the third judge (who didn't show up). I really enjoyed going to see all the French student's projects and I think it would have been good if we were allowed say, 10 minutes to leave our projects and go looks at other people's.

Sketches Discussion #4.5

Hello everyone! Special welcome to Karran, Andrianna, Arianna, Haneen, Melissa and Sara!

This week Haneen and myself are both the discussion leaders! We decided to split it and both make a question, so also make sure to check out her blog. I'm pretty sure her question is related to section four and mine is a question for everything we've read in Sketches so far. Man was section four good! Sketches is covering a lot of interesting topics and it's probably one of my favourite books. My question is...

If you could pick a theme song for the book what song would it be? If possible, link to the song. Tell us which part of the song or which particular lyrics made you think of and relate to Sketches.

Enjoy!

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Readers Response A (Sketches)

I am in the group Reading "Sketches" by: Eric Walters.

This is my first Readers Response, or Readers Response A.

Question 1: Copy down a quote from a character and explain why you think it's meaningful. What does it suggest about this character's personality? Personal qualities? Etc. Explain your thinking.

The quote I chose was, "I'd rather have smokes than food." Brent said it on page 21, paragraph 7. It was the quote that made me think the most and that is why I chose it. I think this quote is meaningful because it shows that if a starving street kid would rather have cigarettes than food then smoking must be very addictive. I think it's so sad that so many homeless people are addicted to smoking because it takes out a large chunk of their money and there are many health concerns around smoking and most street kids (mostly in the states) can't afford healthcare. I think Brent is probably trying to get off all other drugs--which are even more expensive--so he got really addicted to smoking so he could wind off of other drugs. Fortunately Ashley threatened him so he doesn't seem to have a problem with other drugs anymore. I don't think the fact that Brent smokes suggests anything about Brent's personality, other than the fact that more people might know he is "Street" but based on what we know about his appearance it's not hard to guess. I think the fact that he has a drug problem makes him more interesting of a character because it makes him seem more realistic. I wonder if he smoked before he was on the streets or if it was after he was on the streets because he wanted some sort of pleasure and a way to deal with stress and then he got addicted.

Question 2: What were your feelings and first impressions after reading the opening chapters of this book? Explain.

When I first starting reading the book it wasn't an insane page turner but I still wanted to keep reading. I found the beginning a little bit predictable, but it does still have mystery. I like the fact that Eric Walters decided to not tell us right away how and when Brent ended up on the streets (although I'm dying to find out) and what exactly Dana's step-father did to make her leave home. Even though the characters don't have many personality traits so far I still felt emotion towards them all. I felt like I could relate a lot to Dana, I felt a strong dislike towards Ashley (she is growing on me now though) and I felt like Brent would make a good friend and like I mentioned before, he seems very real. I found this to be a spectacular book for discussing. I could go on and on with this book and after reading 46 comments (between both discussions) so far I think most people would agree with me. I am looking forward to seeing what will happen next for Ashley, Brent and Dana.

Assignment #19- If I had $100

Hello, hello! I'm very sorry that I haven't been posting on my blog much lately. I finally finished my 41 page portfolio for Canterbury (I had to stay up till 3 ante meridiem)! Anyways, we have this cool assignment where we have to research 4 charities (Oxfam, World Vision, Plan and Salvation Army) and pretend that we have $100 to spend on ethical gifts for these orginizations. We also have to option of picking charitable orginizations different from the 4 above. I did some research on these orginizations. Although Salvation Army probably had some of the best prices (Only $40 for a goat!) I found them to not have as many gift options and I don't completely agree with their missions and values--this has nothing to do with religion or Christianity I just don't want to be supporting an orginization that I do fully agree with--so I chose to not use any of my money toward Salvation Army. World vision had some great gifts and a large variety but most of their gift had much higher prices than the others. For example, it was $100 for a goat compared to $58 at Oxfam. One thing I found better at World Vision though is it's $50 for a whole community of children to have birth certificates whereas at Plan it's $25 for just one child! All in all I found Oxfam to have the overall best selection of gifts prices and mission statement (or the thing in the About section). I noticed that all four of the orinizations had animals that you could buy for human use so I decided to look for other charities that do the opposite and protect the animals rights. I decided to research the Humane Society and WWF and see if they had ways that you could sponsor an animal. The Humane Society had a lot of stuff to do with actually adopting an animal such as a cat or dog rather than an exotic animal that you sponsor. WWF (World Wildlife Fund) had a really cool thing where you pay money to sponsor an animal and they send you a picture of the animal you are sponsoring as well as a stuffed toy version of your animal. I chose to purchase a polar bear because they are a Canadian animal and are highly endangered at the moment. Sponsoring this animal will ensure that the polar bear is cared for, fed, healthy, etc. With my remaining money I decided to look at Oxfam for some gifts because like I said above; I prefer them over the other three. I ended up choosing to plant 50 trees that will provide fruit, shade and oxygen to a community as well as a radio to provide information on health, education and local news to different parts of the world. For my remaining 25 dollars I went to Plan Canada. It was a big toss up between Art and Play therapy in Haiti and Birth Certificate. In the end I chose Art and Play therapy because after such a horrible earthquake children really deserve the right to play and have creativity in their lives and it is also a way to heal from the tragedies they may have faced.

So here are all my purchases:

Sponsoring a polar bear ($25)

Planting 50 trees ($35)

Radio ($15)

Art and Play therapy in Haiti ($25)

25+35+15+25= $100!!!!

There was one thing that I was trying to look into that they started a bit ago in the UK and New York. It's through Street Pianos and is called "Play me, I'm yours". What they do is put pianos is Parks so that anybody can play them. It gives people who cannot afford instrument a chance to play and it adds a creative vibe/atmosphere to the parks which I assume makes people happier. I couldn't find a way to pay for a piano (even if I could it would be more than $100) or a cheaper way that I would pay for someone to maintain the piano or a cover for the piano. Perhaps I will look into that on a later date if it still interests me.

I wasn't as excited about this assignment as I was others but I have to say this is probably one of if not my favourite assignment so far. I just wish we actually had $100 to use for this assignment!

For more information, click on the links:

Street Pianos

WWF sponsor an animal

Oxfam: radio

Oxfam: Plant 50 trees

Plan: Art and Play therapy in Haiti

Finished draft of my Poems

You open up your drawer to make yourself bleed

And then hide it under wristbands so no one can see

You show a cut here and there just to show that you're scared

But people think it's just a papercut, they think it's just an accident

But you know that it's your fears that you can't show through simple tears

Ya, Your caught underwater and you're struggling to breathe

But you just keep sinking deeper and deeper into your blood

But what's blood and what's tears, just ways to cover up your fears?

You're just one big mess trying to hide under your dress

Or better yet your fears, that trigger the tears

A child takes their life almost every day

Open up their facebook page to see "I hate you 'cause your gay"

Hey kid your life is worth it, just see the light through the tunnel

It's okay to make a puddle when your eyes become rainclouds

Because the puddles will dry, don't be ashamed when you cry

Just know you're hurting more than yourself when you die

Your life is yours, you owe nothing to no one

Just be yourself and your haters wont mind

It's gonna hurt when you fall from Heaven, becuase death can wait

No one lives forever but life can be great

Live, love, laugh may not always be true

But it sure as hell is better than cry, hate, die

I like the sound of his voice but I'm afraid I don't agree

The good shouldn't die young

They should make history

Don’t let your life be a mystery

Take a step out of the darkness

Just because some people are heartless

Doesn’t mean that you should be in fright

Take a step into the light

And know that it gets better

Eric Walters response

Part 1

Sketches- This book is about a girl who runs away from home and is living on the streets of downtown Toronto. She joins a drop-in art centre for homeless teens.

Black and White- I think the message Eric Walters is trying to convey is that we shouldn't judge people based on the colour of their skin because in the end we're all the same and should all be friends.

Safe as Houses- Safe as Houses is about a hurricane that hits while Elizabeth is babysitting and she must work out her problems with the children to keep them all safe.

Part 2

Some days you just sit there, as if there's no one with the heart to care. Teenage angst: you'll dye your hair black, blast screamo from a repeating track, lay on the floor, lock the door. Sometimes you want attention and sometimes you just want to erase the numb. It's like this; anxiety becomes numb, numb becomes pain, pain becomes adrenaline and and adrenaline becomes calm. It's your little cycle of angst. We all know the feeling. Here's my story.

I'd go to school and come home day after day. It seemed as if I wasn't getting noticed and I needed to do something about it, I needed to do something quick. I wore odd clothing but it only made me seem like a bigger dork. I tried to socialize with everyone but it only made me seem desperate. I had so much bundled up inside of me, so much I wanted to express.

One day I was having one of my usual mood swings, the type where I feel nothing, only numbness. I needed to be able to physically feel something, just to reassure myself that it would end soon. I could scream but then my parents might hear and come to see what was wrong. I opened up my drawer to try to find something to distract myself with. Then under a bra and some kleenex covered in lipstick I saw my distraction, my de-number. It was one of those compass things that come in geometry sets. They tell you to get one every year but you rarely ever use them. I pulled it's sharp side to my wrist, it was cold against my skin. Slowly, I closed my eyes and pulled it across my arm. The numbness quickly left my body and the adrenaline from the cut put me back in my usual state. I tucked the compass back in the drawer and covered my wrist with a checkered band.

In the days, weeks, and months that followed I would repeat this routine with whatever sharp objects I could find. I had heard of cutting before on TV, in books I read, from friends, but I never thought that I was a cutter. The first few times that I cut myself it was just a way to get noticed, just a simple cry for help. Then it became addictive. Eventually I realized that it wasn't the cutting itself that I was addicted to, it was the attention. I was addicted to the attention I got when I cut myself. I liked the fact that people felt sorry for me; it was a sense of recognition.

Once I finally convinced myself that I was cutting myself and that it wasn't healthy I brought up the nerve to seek help. Thanks to a wonderful teacher, my parents and writing, I am now cut-free! I would do anything to go back and tell myself not to do it but in a way it made me a stronger person. Now I'm more happy and confident than ever before. I didn't realize it at the time but I--just like everyone else--always had the potential to be happy confident and noticed. I was just so wrapped up in wanting to be liked.